Posts Tagged ‘Reflections’

A Scary Moment

January 20, 2010

So… tonight something really scared the shit out of me. Drew woke up in the middle of the night and was trying to get mine or Melissa’s attention. When I finally came out of my sleep fog to realize what was going on, Melissa had it all taken care of and was laying back down. He needed the blankets adjusted. While some of you may not think that is a big deal, it is to him. If the blankets weigh too heavily on his feet, they can create sores on his toes. What scared me soo badly was what if I hadn’t woken up? What if it was just me in the room and he couldn’t get my attention? A fear pierced thru my body…. Is this some kind of sign – like a sign that I won’t be a good mother one day?


January 20, 2010

I actually wrote this Tuesday night, just didn’t have time to post it….

Drew wanted a little alone time tonight to decompress, so Melissa and I went to the bar for a few drinks. A very harsh reality set in with me. Drew can’t go to sleep until we come back to the room. He can’t just say, “Okay, I’ve had enough for today” and call it an early night. Just about every move he makes depends on someone else. When’s the last time you laid down to take a nap? Remember how good that felt? Well, next time remember that nap is a LUXURY you take for granted everytime you lay your precious little head on that pillow. And what about that night you spent tossing and turning because you couldn’t sleep. You probably woke up the next day complaining about the bad night’s sleep you had. I know I have! The ability to toss and turn in your sleep is another LUXURY you take for granted.

As I’m writing this, Drew calls out for me – Did he take his night medicine? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten to take my medicine. But here’s the difference – I forget, I get up out of bed, go to my bathroom and take my medicine. He can’t. Someone has to put the pills in his mouth. I’m not writing this for you to feel sorry for him. Trust me, that is the LAST thing Drew wants. I’m writing this because of the basic functions we have in everyday life that all os us take for granted. And while he is literally busting his ass so that he’s not just another number on disability, working every breathing moment he has to make something out of himself so that people don’t see him as Drew the quad but Drew the brilliant artist, CNN is reporting about what message Michelle Obama’s fashion choices are sending America!! Really?? Are you serious?? Seems like we need to get our priorities straight. Maybe CNN needs some time alone to decompress!!!

The Come Back Kid

January 18, 2010

If you have never been to an NBA game before, I highly recommend you go. Those guys are HUGE!! But what an electric game!! We had the incredible opportunity to sit in the suite at Staples Center. So the Lakers came out of the gate like something fierce, ready to stomp on the Magic. When they weren’t looking, the Magic snuck up and took the lead. That’s a little bit how my disease works. I come out of the gate swinging and kicking some ass, but when I get too comfortable or complacent I’ll get blindsided. If you are around Drew you will see him constantly moving. Part of that is for his comfort in the chair. But another part of that I feel is so he doesn’t get blindsided, so someone doesn’t sneak up on him and take the lead.

And let me tell you it would be very difficult for anyone to take the lead from Drew. Just as the Lakers had to stay focused, up their defense and nail the offense, Drew has to do the same thing. Hollywood is a very competitive market and a dog-fighting industry. If he isn’t constantly on top of his game, someone else could sneak in and take his spot.

Many people thought Drew was down and out after his car accident. And I will go ahead and say there are a lot of people I know who don’t have the strength, courage and determination to fight back from near death. As Drew says, “I kicked that 18-wheeler’s ass!” Yes sir, you did! You may not be on that basketball court playing against the Magic my friend, but you put on a much better show just being able to experience your life with you.

The Flight to LA

January 17, 2010

First, can I just tell you how silly excited I am about this trip to LA. I’m going with Drew and his sister Melissa for a little vacation and to get some business done – get Redneck Ninja’s pitched!! Drew called me a little ball of energy when I met them at the bar, I think part of that was the entire pot of coffee I drank. Ha!

I’m reading this article on the flight about Anderson Cooper. In it he says, “You can’t predict how you’re going to respond when someone starts shooting or when suddenly your rights are taken away.” It immediately takes me back to my trip to Pakistan. When the very freedoms our soldiers are fighting for I lost the second I landed on foreign soil. The fear that invades you just by stepping outside to stretch your legs and walk down the street – will I get shot? kidnapped? As my mind was taking a dreadful walk down memory lane, Josh Grobin’s song “You Raise Me Up” comes on my iPod (yes, I know….a little girlish, but he has a great voice!) and I look over at Drew peacefully sleeping. It hits me that we also don’t know how we will react in the face of adversity. When you run into that brick wall called reality that you can’t move from the neck down. All of a sudden I feel like I’m in some Hollywood drama – listening to this song and tearing up over how surreal this moment is. I am going on the trip of a lifetime, getting this opportunity of a lifetime because of Drew. A man who can’t raise his own legs because of quadriplegia has raised up my hopes and spirits for the future. And while I have my Flip video camera to document things, it is not possible to capture this moment. “You raise me up to more than I can be.”

As I’m trying to soak all this in and hold it together so people don’t think I’m crazy, the rest of first class is worried about the score of the Minnesota – Dallas game. This may be one of the few times in my life I honestly don’t care about football. (besides, my Colts won yesterday…..)

Now I’m brought back to my own personal reality as I start to sneeze watching the flight attendant bring me another drink. Where is my Zyrtec??? I guess no matter how hard we fight it, we end up like our own mothers…. allergic to alcohol!!

Time to enjoy my next drink, find a good show on the tv to watch and we’ll be in LA soon!!

A Month of Thanks

November 1, 2009

A friend of mine had a great idea on facebook that since it’s November, and Thanksgiving, that each day she would post something she was thankful for. I thought it was an excellent idea. Too often we only focus on the bad and not enough on the good. So keep coming back to this one, I’ll update it as I add the daily things I am thankful for!!

Nov 1st – Its November… I’m going to post something I’m thankful for every day this month. Today I’m thankful for a God who loves, stands beside me, supports me and never turns His back on me. Even when I turn my back on Him! ♥

Nov 2nd – today I am thankful for the new medicine Tysabri. May it do it’s job of stopping the progression of MS in all who take it, and no more cases of PML. For alot of MS patients like myself out there, this drug is all we have left until they find a cure. So I’m thankful for it, and the special people who developed it.

Nov 3rd – today I am thankful for my beautiful grandmother, Nanny, who was born this day several years ago. (she would prob not like me to reveal her actual age..) She is a wise woman who was an excellent example of what it means to truly trust in the Lord and be a prayior warrior. I love you Nanny!!

Nov 4th – today I am thankful for those inspiring nicknames my Dad and Super Dave have given me – Wyatt Earp and The Swan. Even on our best days, everyone needs a little inspiration. Thank you for the motivation, thank you for being a part of this journey and thank you for helping me feel beautiful during something so ugly.

Nov 5th – today I am so incredibly thankful for my mother. You are so beautiful inside and out and have the most wondeful heart for God. You give me strength when I have none left. If I can ever be half the woman you are one day, then I’ll be a lucky girl. I love you more than you will ever know Mom.

Nov 6th – today I am thankful for all the men and women who serve in our military – past and present. You keep this country safe and make it possible for me to have the freedoms I have. I am so very grateful for that. And my prayers are with all the soldiers and families at Fort Hood.

Nov 7th – and today I am thankful for my mom’s magical trail mix. Not only is it a great low sodium snack, it serves for a great breakfast when you don’t have time to make anything. One day this trail mix will be available to the masses, but for now I get to enjoy it!!

Nov 8th – and today I am thankful that I still have a gut intuition that works. I was right yesterday when I said something wasn’t right. And with that, I am thankful I have family that is close by that can come running fast when my heart goes kaput. I couldn’t have made it through last night without you Mom & Dad.

Nov 9th – and today I’m thankful for chocolate!! Chocolate always puts a smile on my face. Especially Wyndy’s chocolate cake. Yummo!!!!

Nov 10th – and today I am thankful for time. Time for my heart to heal, time to figure out which way to turn next on this roadmap of life, time to just sit still and listen.

Nov 11th – and today I am thankful for all of our veterans, like my grandfather, who proudly served our country. May their stories never be forgotten, may their sacrifices always be honored. Happy Veterans Day!!

Nov 12th – and today I am thankful for two very important people in my life. My wonderful nephew Dustin – Happy Birthday! I still remember rocking you to sleep as a baby. You have been such a blessing to my life, and I’m so proud of all that you have accomplished & your service to our country in Operation Iraqi Freedom. I will jump out of a plane anyday with you!! And my beautiful cousin Jeanie. Happy Birthday to you!! You continue to inspire me with your strength & perserverance. I am in awe of what you have overcome and look forward to cliff jumping with you!!
I love you both and am so thankful to have you in my life!!!

Nov 13th – today I am thankful for my heart. Even though medically it’s weak, it’s strong in all the ways that count. I’ve almost made it a year recovering from my heart failure. No man nor science will break this heart. I urge all if you to please take care of your heart. Every minute a woman dies in this country of heart disease, every minute!!! It is THE #1 KILLER in America.

Nov 14th – today I am thankful for college football. You win some, you lose some, but ain’t nothing better than watching your team duke it out. And I am especially thankful for Tennessee football. You guys may not have shown up yesterday to play, but I love ya anyways. Go Big Orange!!!

Nov 15th – today I am thankful for Daron & Tiffany’s wedding anniversary. Daron, you brought the most wonderful woman into our family and gave me a best friend. I couldn’t have made it through 2008 without her. I am so grateful for both of you. Happy Anniversary guys, I love you!

Nov 16th –  today I am thankful for the days I wake up & can walk. Today wasn’t one of them & it makes me realize how much even I take walking for granted. Over 400,000 Americans suffer the debilitating effects of MS. Say a prayer for them today,not all have access to the support system or resources like I do. I’m thankful …for days I can walk,for the fighting spirit on days I can’t & the people that love me regardless.

Nov 17th – today I am thankful for Trader Joe’s. You have the most wondeful alternatives for people who are on different or restrictive diets. I heart Trader Joes!!

Nov 18th – today I am thankful for all the doors that are opening for me. This just keeps getting better and better. I don’t know what God’s plan is for me yet, but I’m enjoying the ride as we find out. As I said before, the best is yet to come.

Nov 19th – today I am thankful for my Dad. Not only are you my hero, you have always been my #1 cheerleader (next to Mom). You believe in me when I don’t believe in myself, you motivate me when I hit brick walls and you give me sledgehammers to make my own doors when the world slams them in my face. Not only am …I proud of eveything you are and have done in this world, I know DaddyFrank is proud of the son, father, doctor and now DaddyFrank you have become. I am honored to have you as my father. I only hope I can fill your big shoes one day!! I love you Dad!!

Nov 20th –  today I am thankful for college mascots. Uga, you did a lot for the University of Georgia and the SEC. As the only college mascot to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated, you brought much attention and respect to our conference. RIP and my condolences to all the Georgia fans.

Nov 21st – today I am thankful for my bike.And for my brother introducing me to the love of cycling.You have given me a wonderful outlet to let go and get away from the world for a little while, when I’m on my bike. Not to mention a way for me to prove all the doctors wrong,I will ride the MS Bike Tour aga…in.Taking her today over to Terry’s to get some work done, don’t know why my cateye isn’t working.

Nov 22nd – today I am thankful for good soup on a cold, chilly day. Just makes you feel all warm and cozy. And yes, you can have really good, low sodium soup. My version is ever better than the original in most cases.

Nov 23rd – today I am thankful for my ex-husband. Happy Birthday Waleed. While our marriage didn’t work,you taught me more about myself than anyone has. It’s because of you that I am a better woman, a stronger Christian, & if God grants me the chance again -will be a better wife one day. I wish… you all the happiness & joys that I am finding in my life again. Shukria, mayra dost!!

Nov 24th – today I am thankful for my smile! It sure hasn’t left my face all day long and I love days like these. As I said earlier, the best is yet to come… and things just keep getting better. And I have to give a special shout-out thanks to my DaddyFrank who is smiling on me in Heaven. I wouldn’t have this smile without you! You were the best orthadontist to ever grace this earth!

Nov 25th – and today I am thankful for second chances. God has granted me two big ones and I am eternally grateful. I am lucky to be alive. For whatever reason the Big Man just wasn’t ready for me. So I’m going to make the most of my second chance with everything in me, grabbing hold and not letting go. If you’re lucky enough to get a second chance, make something worthwhile of it. God didn’t let you down, so don’t let Him down.

Nov 26th – and today I am thankful I don’t have to eat any turkey!!! I love non-traditional Thanksgiving dinners. Lobster – here I come!!!! 🙂 But I hope everyone else enjoys their turkey and has a Happy Thanksgiving!

Nov 26th – and today I am truly thankful I’m alive. My doctor told me I wasn’t supposed to make it to the end of this year, and my heart is getting stronger. So thank you God for keeping me here, there is so much I have left to do in this world. And thank yo…u to my family and friends who have supported me over the last year. I am blessed.

Nov 27th – and today I am thankful for the beauty, peace and serenity of the North Georgia mountains. There truly is a place in this world where you can leave all your worries behind in the city, and my parents just happen to own it!!!

Nov 28th – today I am thankful for the true friends in my life who stick with me thru thick and thin, good or bad, happy or sad times. Those that have loved me no matter what. I am so fortunate for the great friends I have in my life. Thank you for being there, for making me laugh and definitely for making my life fun and interesting!!

Nov 29th – today I am thankful for families who open their hearts & lives up to adoption. Every child deserves a family. I am thankful Carrie made it to Africa safely & got to see Mykah & Jackson yesterday. Please pray the adoption process is a speedy one & for safe travels home. Chris & Carrie, I can’t wait to m…eet the new additions to your family.

Nov 30th – and today I am thankful for my dear friend Drew Bates, his company Unique Publications and his incredible project Redneck Ninjas. You continue to inspire me with your creativity and determination. I …am so thankful you kicked that 18-wheelers butt and am honored to be a part of your life. I look forward to this adventure and being a part of the journey with you as Redneck Ninjas goes worldwide!!! Everybody needs a little ninja!!!

Taking the Blinders Off

October 24, 2009

How many times have we listened to friends talk about their relationships and we can see it’s the wrong one or something is just not right, but they play the “ignorance is bliss” card on us? And we’ll say, you need to take those blinders off. Why is it so hard to take those blinders off? Why are we so scared to see what is right there in front of us?

A friend of mine on facebook always does these great inspirational messages. Yesterday morning she posted an awesome one:  Albert Einstein said: “Most people see what is, and never see what can be”. So I ask you, family to uncover those eyes; explore the possibilities and you will be amaze of all the beautiful things around you. Have faith in what God promise you… and walk in it.

I can’t get this message out of my head. People see what is, and never see what can be. I guess sometimes we lose the forrest for the trees. Happiness could be right there in front of you but you’re too afraid to grab a hold of it. The answers to your questions, the possibilities – right in front of your eyes, but we refuse to uncover them. Maybe it’s because we get stuck in a holding pattern of our everyday lives. Or, we don’t believe we deserve better, or that there truly is better out there.

I am just as guilty about having blinders on in my own life. You get comfortable in your everyday routine, you get complacent that “this” is all there is to life. I’m trying to take my blinders off, looking at the bigger picture and take a chance. In doing so I have gotten hurt, but ya know- no regrets. No risk, no reward – right? But if I don’t take the blinders off, then I stay complacent in the life I have – and I know there is more for me out there. Taking the blinders off isn’t just about analyzing the romantic relationships in your life, it’s also about the friendships that may be poisonous, it’s about life opportunities that could be passing you by…..

So, I’m going to try to keep the blinders off in my life. And I hope you will start to do the same.

Wrestling Demons

October 16, 2009

Ok, so most of my fighting matches and blogs have been centered around karate, but this one is going to be a little different. Inside all of us are demons we are constantly battling to be the better person we know we can be. The demons that whisper good-for-nothing temptations in your ears. The demons that just curl themselves up in a suitcase for you to carry as extra baggage all your life until you decide to deal with it, until you decide to wrestle.

The big demon I am wrestling right now is Mr.Sandman. You have infiltrated my dreams long enough to no avail. You gave me hopes and beliefs that were not grounded in anything but mirages. And like a camel walking to water, I ran straight to your mirage with open arms, only to end up grabbing at empty air. Just like the feeling you left in my heart – empty. You sprinkled your magic dust in my mind to dream that the universe would grant me that one more wish, only to wake up with a haunted halo.

“Confront the dark parts of your self and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strengths.” – August Wilson

Everyday when I wake up I have demons to wrestle – will I be able to walk, will I make it through the day without a seizure, will I be able to breathe, will I have extra fluid in my chest from my heart. Will I be strong enough to fight it all off, still keep a smile on my face and keep my focus on where I am going in life. Will I truly have the strength to not give up on my fight. Will I be smart enough to make it to where I need to go. Will I know that I’m not all alone when there’s no one there to hold my hand. Will I wake up alive. Will my heart function okay on its own. Maybe that’s the difference between you and me, Mr.Sandman. I don’t have a choice. These demons wait patiently for me as I sleep and seem to be several cups of coffee ahead of me when I wake up. So ready or not, they attack as soon as I get out of bed. Whereas you can simply pack all of your demons in that luggage you carry around. But battling these demons makes me stronger. Battling these demons makes me a better person.  Battling these demons keeps me alive. And soon enough, these demons will get tired of wrestling with me and will move on to the next soul to haunt. And the fact that I am brave enough to get up and fight them everyday, makes my angels sing even louder and motivates me even more.

So, Mr.Sandman, what’s your excuse? What do you possibly have to hide behind? What could be so terrifying that it is greater than life? You know what your demons are. You know the door is right there to walk through to get your battle started, so what’s holding you back? What are you so scared of? That you might actually become a better person, that you might actually feel happy and more alive than you ever felt before? That you might experience some relief from not carrying around all that baggage? (because I promise you, it’s a hell of a lot lighter load) That maybe it’s time for you to finally grow up? That maybe your two regrets don’t have to be regrets but actually dreams you make come true? You are the only one in charge of your own happiness. So own it!

Here’s one thing I do know, when God sends us down strong paths He gives us strong shoes. I happen to also have a pretty good pair of boxing gloves. But in true martial arts fashion – you have to be good on your feet and on the ground. So I keep my demons guessing all the time on what angle I’ll hit them with. You have to figure out what artillery you need to fight your demons. And as angry as I am that you have crossed over the line to the other side to be my demon versus the sweet something to look forward to in my dreams, I wish you all the best with your fight. And hope you find your peace.

Poker Face

October 15, 2009

Several years ago I tried my hand at poker in Las Vegas. Yeah…. let’s just say I lost some money. Guess that means I’m not that great of a poker player. I think one quality that makes a good poker player is the ability to count cards. To know how the deck is stacked against them, or what cards are left you may have left to play with. To me, this is a very important part of the game. If you can’t, then you could easily get blindsided with a pair of Aces you just can’t compete against. Another quality of a good poker player is having that all stoic poker face. Guess that’s why a lot of professional poker players wear sunglasses. You can read so much in someone’s eyes – so why not keep them hidden from the rest of the world? Right.

Well, if those two qualities make a good poker player, then I think it’s pretty obvious why I suck at this game. While I am great at reading the enemy (or for most times the competition), when it comes to matters of the heart, I can never properly count the deck or even see when the deck was so clearly stacked against me that I had no way of winning straight out of the gate. The passionate nature in me makes it impossible for me to keep expressions off my face. I wear my heart on my sleeve. And even in the darkest pair of Prada sunglasses, you will see the pain, hurt and emptiness resonate brightly through my eyes when I have lost, or am about to lose.

In the book, The Last Lecture, Randy Pausch says, “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” How profound that is. I can’t change the fact that I have Multiple Sclerosis. There is no cure for it. But what I can do is change everyday how I play my hand depending on the cards MS wants to deal me. And over the years I feel I have become quite the master at this one. You dealt me a hand that would take away my legs. I called your bluff and got them back only with a pair of crazy eight’s!! Every hand you have dealt me, I have methodically, carefully, yet strategically played my way through to where I held the winning card in the end. (why some of this wisdom didn’t carry over to Las Vegas, I know not….) Since I was winning so much there, you decided to raise the stakes on me and deal me a new hand with a failing heart. And right now we are still playing this particular round of poker….. but I’m feeling pretty confident.

The irony here is that I can count how the deck is stacked against me with MS, and I’m slowly but surely getting there with my heart. But when it comes to love, I am the worst poker player around. The cards are dealt and I didn’t even count to see the critical ones that were left to be played. The cards that would make it impossible for me to win. See, the deck was stacked to where I had no chance of ever winning this particular hand. And since I wear my heart on my sleeve, my opponent was able to read my hand without me ever uttering a word. Strike two!! But being the daring and competive person I am, I raised up the anty – all or nothing! But he drew the Queen of Diamonds, and for this round – that was all he needed to kill my hand. Strike three! Maybe we’ll meet again at the poker table, maybe not. Maybe I’ll entertain another match one day, maybe not. Maybe I’ll stop playing cards all together and just stick with chess…..

What I do know is that while my card game is clearly up on this poker table, I still love to play and will move on to the next interesting gamble I can make here in Vegas. But let me leave the winner of this last hand with one piece of advice, and this comes straight from the Eagles – “Don’t you draw the Queen of Diamonds boy, she’ll beat you if she’s able. You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet.” Your Queen of Diamonds may have won out for this ONE hand, but always remember that you can never lose when you bet on the Queen of Hearts. Even being down a hand, in the end, she’s always the winner. Too bad your sunglasses are a little too dark to see that. Maybe that poker face doesn’t help you win just as much as you think.

I Know Sometimes It’s Gonna Rain…

October 14, 2009

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass,
It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

Today I am trying to remember how to dance. God knows it has been pouring like mad here in Atlanta, so there is no shortage of puddles to jump in. But for whatever reason, I can’t seem to remember my moves, or how to even begin. I put my dance shoes on – nothing. Pulled out some of my old costumes – no inspiration. I even put on one of my favorite dance movies – Breakin’ – and nada….

Just as the rain is coming down in gallons outside, the tears just flow like buckets. Normally I can find some cryptic way to write about what I’m feeling or what is going on in my life without just flat out coming out with the words. But tonight the storm is brewing and I can’t remember how to dance. My heart is so heavy right now. I don’t even know where to begin……

How did I get to this point? What was I thinking putting all my eggs in that basket? Why did I take the chance? Who convinced me to believe it could work, or be okay? And why did I believe them??? Was it ever really worth it? When did I stop seeing the writing on the wall? How do I pull my hands out of the fire? Where do I go from here? Why can’t people tell you the truth? How do I explain “that” without it hurting them? Could this have been prevented? Why don’t they understand? What were they thinking…..why, why, why? Can it be saved? Were the consequences not even considered? Will it ever change? What happens next? Where do I find my dance steps? Can I stop the stealth? Are you ever really ready? How do I prepare?Do you think……. Is it possible…… What if……..

I look back at different life experiences and there were times I didn’t know how I would get out of bed the next day. I didn’t think my heart would ever feel again. And I know tomorrow will come, and I will wake up and continue on with my life. I mean, hell, I have survived a lot worse than this. And will continue to do so. But dancing is what makes me smile, dancing is what makes my life exciting. Dancing is what gets me through the day.

The tears will slow. The pain will cease. The sun will rise again, and I will start a new day. And in the rays I will find my step, Lindsey will get her groove back…..

But in the meantime, it’s gonna rain.

What We Have Here is Failure to Communicate

October 8, 2009

As I am writing this it’s killing me that I can’t think of what movie/song that is from. Guns’N’Roses I think……. Ugh! I just felt it captured the kind of day/week I’ve been having. Why is so hard for us to just say how we feel, or what it is we are feeling? Why do we have to sugar coat things, or dance around the issues? Have our relationships become so casual that we don’t have the kind of ties that allow you to speak freely to one another?

Now let’s go to the other end of the spectrum. What about those people who just don’t know the right way to tell you how they feel or the point they want to get across? So instead of being comforting or motivational or even the reality check you may need, they come across as mean and hateful. Hence their words are lost forever in the abyss of “I’m not listening”.

Part of what I think makes it difficult for us to communicate is the baggage we carry around from past relationships – whether intimate or family or friendship. People don’t want to get hurt again, god knows I don’t. One of my good friends and I were talking about what some of our baggage is that makes it difficult for us in relationships. Like for example someone who has been cheated on may have trust issues. As we went through analyzing the life of relationships that is Lindsey we came across a big suitcase I’ve been toting around and hadn’t really considered it before. Evidentially I have confidence issues in people’s feelings for me – again whether they are intimate or personal or just friendship. See one day I was happily married living my life and the next day I was getting a divorce. (Ok – wasn’t quite that trivial, but you get the point none-the-less). And on the friendship side, I have given and given until there was nothing left for me to give, only to end up empty handed; without even the friend there anymore. So my baggage, my luggage is that I need to know where I stand in relationships. I don’t assume anything. I won’t assume you like me, or love me or want to date me. I won’t “read between the lines”. I won’t pick up on insinuations or subtle hints. Those are all blocked out of my psyche or emotional radar.

I say all of this because sometimes we just need to tell people how we feel. If you love, tell them. If you want to be a better friend, then do it. If you want to be the emotional support for someone, then plant a root and let your tree grow. If you think someone is doing a good job, let them know – they may do an even better job. If you think someone is spectacular, then let them know it. Especially in today’s world where everyone is either losing their job, their house, their spouse or their confidence; we could all use a friend.

Don’t let another day go by without telling those you love that you love them. You just never know when someone’s life is going to get cut short, or when this may be the last time you get to say goodbye.