Posts Tagged ‘Communication’

What We Have Here is Failure to Communicate

October 8, 2009

As I am writing this it’s killing me that I can’t think of what movie/song that is from. Guns’N’Roses I think……. Ugh! I just felt it captured the kind of day/week I’ve been having. Why is so hard for us to just say how we feel, or what it is we are feeling? Why do we have to sugar coat things, or dance around the issues? Have our relationships become so casual that we don’t have the kind of ties that allow you to speak freely to one another?

Now let’s go to the other end of the spectrum. What about those people who just don’t know the right way to tell you how they feel or the point they want to get across? So instead of being comforting or motivational or even the reality check you may need, they come across as mean and hateful. Hence their words are lost forever in the abyss of “I’m not listening”.

Part of what I think makes it difficult for us to communicate is the baggage we carry around from past relationships – whether intimate or family or friendship. People don’t want to get hurt again, god knows I don’t. One of my good friends and I were talking about what some of our baggage is that makes it difficult for us in relationships. Like for example someone who has been cheated on may have trust issues. As we went through analyzing the life of relationships that is Lindsey we came across a big suitcase I’ve been toting around and hadn’t really considered it before. Evidentially I have confidence issues in people’s feelings for me – again whether they are intimate or personal or just friendship. See one day I was happily married living my life and the next day I was getting a divorce. (Ok – wasn’t quite that trivial, but you get the point none-the-less). And on the friendship side, I have given and given until there was nothing left for me to give, only to end up empty handed; without even the friend there anymore. So my baggage, my luggage is that I need to know where I stand in relationships. I don’t assume anything. I won’t assume you like me, or love me or want to date me. I won’t “read between the lines”. I won’t pick up on insinuations or subtle hints. Those are all blocked out of my psyche or emotional radar.

I say all of this because sometimes we just need to tell people how we feel. If you love, tell them. If you want to be a better friend, then do it. If you want to be the emotional support for someone, then plant a root and let your tree grow. If you think someone is doing a good job, let them know¬†– they may do an even better job. If you think someone is spectacular, then let them know it. Especially in today’s world where everyone is either losing their job, their house, their spouse or their confidence; we could all use a friend.

Don’t let another day go by without telling those you love that you love them. You just never know when someone’s life is going to get cut short, or when this may be the last time you get to say goodbye.