Archive for January, 2010

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Confession Time….

January 21, 2010

I can’t get the conversation I had with Melissa at the bar Tuesday night out of my mind. I’ve heard Drew tell his story of what little he remembers happened, and what people told him happened; but to not only hear her words – to see the fear still in her eyes at the thought of losing her brother. It really has moved me. They say when you have children you experience a love unlike no other, true unconditional love. I would match that with the heartfelt words that came from Melissa’s mouth. She truly would, will and did move mountains to help Drew, to make his life a little easier, to get him anything he needs, to put a smile on his face. If you could see the fierceness in her eyes when it comes to her brother, you would understand. She was not going to lose her brother, not then and not now. He is her heart. Makes me wonder who in my life would fight that hard for me? I know two – my mother and my father. Drew and Melissa have a very special relationship, a special connection. Almost makes me jealous that I don’t have that same type of bond and relationship with my brother and sister.

People have often said to me that if they were in my situation they don’t feel they would survive or be able to fight. I kindly would reply with you just never know how you will react until put in the situation, that often times you will surprise even yourself. I am the one now saying those words – I don’t think I am strong enough to survive what he has. I don’t think I would have held on 16 hours on an iced over road with the desire to live like he did. And I definitely don’t think I would have the will to continue pushing down walls when just about every one of my personal abilities was taken away from me. What makes me so ashamed now, is that this time last year I was on here ranting about how I couldn’t go sky diving or go to my dance class because my stupid little heart went into failure.

I have no reason to complain when I am with Drew. You have no reason to complain. Having Drew in my life, knowing him, spending time with him – makes me a better person. Now I just need to get the rest of the world to know him…..

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A Scary Moment

January 20, 2010

So… tonight something really scared the shit out of me. Drew woke up in the middle of the night and was trying to get mine or Melissa’s attention. When I finally came out of my sleep fog to realize what was going on, Melissa had it all taken care of and was laying back down. He needed the blankets adjusted. While some of you may not think that is a big deal, it is to him. If the blankets weigh too heavily on his feet, they can create sores on his toes. What scared me soo badly was what if I hadn’t woken up? What if it was just me in the room and he couldn’t get my attention? A fear pierced thru my body…. Is this some kind of sign – like a sign that I won’t be a good mother one day?

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Alone

January 20, 2010

I actually wrote this Tuesday night, just didn’t have time to post it….

Drew wanted a little alone time tonight to decompress, so Melissa and I went to the bar for a few drinks. A very harsh reality set in with me. Drew can’t go to sleep until we come back to the room. He can’t just say, “Okay, I’ve had enough for today” and call it an early night. Just about every move he makes depends on someone else. When’s the last time you laid down to take a nap? Remember how good that felt? Well, next time remember that nap is a LUXURY you take for granted everytime you lay your precious little head on that pillow. And what about that night you spent tossing and turning because you couldn’t sleep. You probably woke up the next day complaining about the bad night’s sleep you had. I know I have! The ability to toss and turn in your sleep is another LUXURY you take for granted.

As I’m writing this, Drew calls out for me – Did he take his night medicine? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten to take my medicine. But here’s the difference – I forget, I get up out of bed, go to my bathroom and take my medicine. He can’t. Someone has to put the pills in his mouth. I’m not writing this for you to feel sorry for him. Trust me, that is the LAST thing Drew wants. I’m writing this because of the basic functions we have in everyday life that all os us take for granted. And while he is literally busting his ass so that he’s not just another number on disability, working every breathing moment he has to make something out of himself so that people don’t see him as Drew the quad but Drew the brilliant artist, CNN is reporting about what message Michelle Obama’s fashion choices are sending America!! Really?? Are you serious?? Seems like we need to get our priorities straight. Maybe CNN needs some time alone to decompress!!!

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Are You Serious????

January 20, 2010

This trip really is just the opportunity of a lifetime!! Yesterday we spent the day at Warner Brothers studios on the set of Two & A Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. I am officially recanting anytime I said an actors job was easy. Seeing things from behind the scenes gives you a whole new/different perspective. They have to do several run-thru’s, camera blocking, get notes on how everything looks, do another run-thru. The process keeps going and going. And I had no idea how much time and work go into the set designs. The set designers actually help create storylines thru their visions and creativity. It’s simply amazing!! And even though they were working and “in their zone”, the actors still took time to visit with us. That really meant a lot to me. Personally, when I’m in the middle of a big project at work, I don’t want to be bothered. So, acting and the whole production of what you see on television is a hell of a lot harder than I ever imagined.
Very similiar to Drew’s life. Traveling with him and spending 24 hours a day with him really gives me a different perspective on things. I could only have imagined how hard life is as a quadrapalegic, but the reality is that it’s a hell of a lot harder than I could ever have imagined. And I’m just seeing the tip of the iceberg. Drew, you are one of the strongest people I have ever known!!

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The Come Back Kid

January 18, 2010

If you have never been to an NBA game before, I highly recommend you go. Those guys are HUGE!! But what an electric game!! We had the incredible opportunity to sit in the suite at Staples Center. So the Lakers came out of the gate like something fierce, ready to stomp on the Magic. When they weren’t looking, the Magic snuck up and took the lead. That’s a little bit how my disease works. I come out of the gate swinging and kicking some ass, but when I get too comfortable or complacent I’ll get blindsided. If you are around Drew you will see him constantly moving. Part of that is for his comfort in the chair. But another part of that I feel is so he doesn’t get blindsided, so someone doesn’t sneak up on him and take the lead.

And let me tell you it would be very difficult for anyone to take the lead from Drew. Just as the Lakers had to stay focused, up their defense and nail the offense, Drew has to do the same thing. Hollywood is a very competitive market and a dog-fighting industry. If he isn’t constantly on top of his game, someone else could sneak in and take his spot.

Many people thought Drew was down and out after his car accident. And I will go ahead and say there are a lot of people I know who don’t have the strength, courage and determination to fight back from near death. As Drew says, “I kicked that 18-wheeler’s ass!” Yes sir, you did! You may not be on that basketball court playing against the Magic my friend, but you put on a much better show just being able to experience your life with you.

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Reality

January 18, 2010

We went to go visit a friend of Drew’s that lives by Hollywood Blvd. He lives upstairs and the elevator there is one of those old ones that you open the door and pull back the gate. Cute for those old timey apartments. But not so cute when your wheelchair won’t fit in it. I’ll admit it really has been awhile since I’ve faced issues like these for me. It makes me want to fight to get building codes changed and immediately go into pitbull mode. Maybe that’s just the bitch in me, or the over-protective friend. Drew just laughs it off and gives LA credit for being very handicap accessible, even more so than other cities in America. I’ll admit, he’s a lot more forgiving than me.

So while he is visiting with his friend Melissa and I are walking around outside. On Hollywood Blvd are several of the “stars”. Out of habit I take a picture or two. Right as I’m doing that, this guy walks out of Popeyes and laughs at me. “You must be a tourist.” Trying to hide my very obvious southern accent, I give him a cold “Eat Shit” look and explain that no I am not a tourist, I’m simply trying to get footage for a documentary. As soon as he turns the corner, I grab Melissa to take my picture under the Hollywood sign. Am I that transparent? I really hope not. Otherwise my reality is that I will get eaten up alive out here.

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Drew Stops Traffic!!

January 17, 2010

So, we’ve landed and true to form, Mr. Dramatic could not wait to make his mark again in LA – so he stops traffic!! Ha! Living with MS, I am aware of many amenities that people take for granted. Traveling with Drew brings that to a whole new level. Even makes me feel like I need to go to confession and say 50 Hail Mary’s for how I have lived my life so selfishly. And I’m not even Catholic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First, Delta leaves Drew’s wheelchair on the tarmac and its raining. This chair is his legs. Melissa and I were feverishly trying to get it dried off before we moved him into it. No one likes to sit in a wet chair! That would be like Delta dumping a big pitcher of water in your lap before you were allowed to get off the plane. Thanks Delta!! Then we got to wait 2 hours for them to finally get his shower chair off the plane. Really????? Why it didn’t come off with the rest of the luggage is beyond us. Many of you that follow this know that patience is not one of my virtues. Instead of Drew getting frustrated or angry, which he had every right to, he is smoozing and making jokes with the Delta guys. Lesson learned…. not only from a personal level, but a business one too. I know a lot of you travel every week with your job, I used to myself. Take a que from Drew!!

So… this brings me to him stopping traffic. We have a handicap accessible van as our rental car. The rental company sent over a van to pick us up. Well, the lift that comes down for Drew get in the bus can’t go down on the curb, it has to lay down on the road. So with a devilish grin on his face, Drew drives off the curb and into on-coming traffic where all the hotel and rental buses are coming to pick up people. “I’ll just wait right here”!! Ha!! I could not stop laughing at him. Buses were driving by looking at us like we were crazy. Nope, not crazy, just need you to think about how someone in a wheelchair travels. It’s definitely more entertaining than the average bear! But again, a lesson to be learned here – no matter what life throws in your face: HAVE NO FEAR! Be brave enough to drive out into oncoming traffic if that’s what it takes to get you where you need to go!

 We arrive at the hotel to the most fantastic gift basket in our room. It looked like one of the gift baskets the celebrities used to get at the awards shows. Time to kick back, have a drink, enjoy some cheese and crackers and just soak up that we are in LA!!!! That’s right – WE ARE IN LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Watchout California!

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The Flight to LA

January 17, 2010

First, can I just tell you how silly excited I am about this trip to LA. I’m going with Drew and his sister Melissa for a little vacation and to get some business done – get Redneck Ninja’s pitched!! Drew called me a little ball of energy when I met them at the bar, I think part of that was the entire pot of coffee I drank. Ha!

I’m reading this article on the flight about Anderson Cooper. In it he says, “You can’t predict how you’re going to respond when someone starts shooting or when suddenly your rights are taken away.” It immediately takes me back to my trip to Pakistan. When the very freedoms our soldiers are fighting for I lost the second I landed on foreign soil. The fear that invades you just by stepping outside to stretch your legs and walk down the street – will I get shot? kidnapped? As my mind was taking a dreadful walk down memory lane, Josh Grobin’s song “You Raise Me Up” comes on my iPod (yes, I know….a little girlish, but he has a great voice!) and I look over at Drew peacefully sleeping. It hits me that we also don’t know how we will react in the face of adversity. When you run into that brick wall called reality that you can’t move from the neck down. All of a sudden I feel like I’m in some Hollywood drama – listening to this song and tearing up over how surreal this moment is. I am going on the trip of a lifetime, getting this opportunity of a lifetime because of Drew. A man who can’t raise his own legs because of quadriplegia has raised up my hopes and spirits for the future. And while I have my Flip video camera to document things, it is not possible to capture this moment. “You raise me up to more than I can be.”

As I’m trying to soak all this in and hold it together so people don’t think I’m crazy, the rest of first class is worried about the score of the Minnesota – Dallas game. This may be one of the few times in my life I honestly don’t care about football. (besides, my Colts won yesterday…..)

Now I’m brought back to my own personal reality as I start to sneeze watching the flight attendant bring me another drink. Where is my Zyrtec??? I guess no matter how hard we fight it, we end up like our own mothers…. allergic to alcohol!!

Time to enjoy my next drink, find a good show on the tv to watch and we’ll be in LA soon!!

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It’s a New Year

January 6, 2010

Okay, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy to finally say goodbye to 2009. What a horrible year! Hence, I know 2010 will be such a better year. I’ll even go as far as to say I think this will be the best year I’ve ever had! I won’t bore you with listing out my New Year’s Resolutions, most of which none of us keep anyways. But I will give you a hint and say this will be a record breaking year!

So make sure your seatbelts are strapped tight – it’s going to be a crazy, fun and adventurous ride this year. One I think you will very much enjoy, I know I will…. And it gets kicked off with a big bang of me going to LA with Drew.

Buckle up, hold on and just remember – THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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