So this is a little bit of an expansion on my last blog about how everyone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I got an interesting email from my mom, its one of those forwards that has a cute message and then asks you to send it on to 12 more people. As much as those type of emails normally annoy me, the message it was rather profound for me. Here is the email (and I cut out the part where you have to forward… so you are officially excempt!)
“God doesn’t give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED – To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be. Dear God: The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and strong, and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most, and let her know when she walks with you, She will always be safe.”
Many times in my life I have made the comment – I know God put you in my life for a reason. But that was always with pepople that were involved in some kind of support system in my life, or there for some momentous event. People who were there for good times and bad. I’ll give you an example, one of my best friends had a bad divorce in her life. I met her not too long before I got a divorce and we instantly became friends. When I found out I was getting a divorce, I just knew God had put her in my life to help me get thru that tough time. She was right there beside me without hesitation and many times just knew all the right things to say. (Thanks Pam!!) Here’s another one: my cousin’s wife, Tiffany. He probably thinks God made her as the love of his life. But I think God put her in his life to find me (I’m half-way joking here people…) She has become one of my closest and best friends too, has been one of my biggest supporters and I couldn’t ask for a better person to be in my life. Both of these girls I am so grateful for to have in my life. And I feel so strongly, God put them in my life for a reason – to enhance my life, to help make my life better, He knew I needed them & they were there.
But what about the people who hurt you? The ones who leave you? I’ve never sat back and looked at it from the perspective that God put them in your life because you need them too. Maybe just like the people yesterday who got up on the wrong side of the bed. God was putting them in my life as a way to remind me that I need to slow down, I need to just take a deep breathe, I need to remember the bigger picture of whats important in life? I guess my mom’s email had such a significant impact on me because I have been struggling with some nasty attitudes and ugly relationships here lately. Some have been professional ones from a work perspective and some have been close, personal ones that sting deeply. One relationship in particular has really had me baffled. On the outside this person puts up the appearance they care for me and are truly concerned about my well being. But on the inside they have done everything possible to sabatoge our friendship and my trust in them. And it seems like everytime I turn around I get slapped in the face with more hate from this person.
But God feels I need this person in my life? God feels I need those other ugly relationships that I don’t understand and would prefer to just cut off. Is it to teach me mercy – like the mercy He gives me? Is it to teach me compassion – like the kind He always has for me? Is it to teach me forgiveness – how He has forgiven me? Is it to teach me sacrifice – because He made the ultimate sacrifice for me?
I lash out at God. I say horrible things under my breath when I’m mad, I talk about Him behind His back, I challenge His wisdom, authority and guidance all the time. I’ve turned my back on him in the past and run as far and fast as I can. And yet, everytime when I am ready, He has accepted me back with open arms. Not once has He waivered His love for me, not once has lessened His support. He has always stood right there beside me and forgiven me without another thought to it.
Is this why we need the people who hurt us in our life? And if God has that kind of capacity, why can’t I even have a small percent of that capacity in my heart? Just something I’ve been thinking about… and something weighing on my heart. While I have been making all these changes in my life, I want to make sure they are changes for the good, changes in the right direction. And its so easy for me to just cut off someone who deeply hurts me, but is that really the right thing to do?
How is all of this making me a better person?
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