Archive for January 15th, 2009

A Grace Disguised….

January 15, 2009

After I got divorced a friend of mine recommened this book called “A Grace Disguised” by Jerry Sittser. It was such an inspirational book to me. It’s about a man who finds God’s grace through one of the most traumatic experiences a person can go thru – the loss of his wife, mother and child all in one car accident, and how the soul grows through loss. In the book he writes, “All people suffer loss. Being alive means suffering loss….. Living means changing, and change requires that we lose one thing before we gain something else.”  I am not trying to compare my situation to his in any means. His book, I feel, helped prepare me some for how to seek out God’s grace when you can’t possibly imagine it could be there. Because that is a question I have struggled with since being diagnosed with heart failure (well.. and let’s face it – since going through the entire year of 2008).

And when you least expect it, God will just tap you on the shoulder to remind you that He’s still there. And then when you’re not looking, you start to see the grace that’s disguised in your life.

For me, these are some of the graces that have brought me back to life over the last week (and given me back a little spunk…): being asked to have brunch with some incredible girls and share life experiences, kicking reality’s butt with travel this week, trying octopus for the first time, having a disagreement with someone and actually arguing profusely my point back (remember people, I’m supposed to be relaxing, resting my heart..), yelling at someone in traffic (I think only my close family will understand this one), laughing at macaroni noodles with no cheese and other memories, three tacos, the best trail mix this side of the Mississippi, and my favorite – Realizing the Twist in My Story!!

I connect so much in my life with music. Secondhand Serenade is one of my favorite bands. And their song, it just captured me this week, I was singing at the top of my lungs in my car, I was laughing hysterically at all these small graces, and some I didn’t even mention, that just made me smile, made me happy, made me feel alive.

“I’m longing for words to describe how I’m feeling, I’m feeling inspired
My world just flipped turned upside down, and turned around
Say what’s that sound?? It’s my heart-beat
This couldn’t be better, My heart-beat
It’s stronger than ever
I’m feeling so alive! I’m feeling so alive!

I’m finally waking up
A Twist in My Story!!”
– Secondhand Serenade: Twist in My Story

I have finally woken up!! So… stick around so you can see the twist in my story….