Right now I feel like I need to be in some swanky New York apartment, sitting at a cute desk typing on my Mac with my Carrie Bradshaw-like voice talking in the background….. When having a baby, does size really matter?
This seemed to all really start when I was pregnant. Women would talk about how much weight they gained during their pregnancy. No offense ladies, but I really didn’t care. And for those who only gained 10 pounds, I wanted to shove a Big Mac down your throat!!! Each woman is different in her pregnancy, has a different set of health issues or “things” going on with her baby and body that determine how much one gains. And yes I do realize that we can control what food we put in our mouths. But unless you have been pregnant, give me a break and don’t judge! And then as you got closer to your due date and the doctors would give you an estimated weight of your baby, I would be told all about every Guiness Book of World Record baby every born. Why do you want to scare a hormonal pregnant woman with heart issues??? And what on earth makes you think I want to hear about the 15 pound baby born??
Where this epiphany really slapped me in the face was after my son was born; once we had a definitive weight for him. My son was 9 pounds, 8 ounces. Not the hugest baby every born by any stretch, but not a tiny little thing either. This is when all the stories would hit – “Well, my baby was 10 pounds” or “Mine was 9 pounds 7 ounces! So mine was bigger!” or “I had three 9 pound babies, you only had one”. I think my favorite being “You had a c-section, I delivered my 9 pound baby naturally”. So for the rest of the world who hasn’t had a baby, let me clue you in on a few important points:
1 – Labor is NOT a competition. It doesn’t matter how many hours/days you were in labor versus the other person, how much your baby weighed or the manner in which you delivered (c-section/natural, epideral or not…). If you want to compete then I’ll kick your butt on the baseketball court. The most miraculous event in my life is not a competition (although it feels like an Olympic event just having a baby…) So get your priorities straight.
2 – Labor is painful no matter which way you cut it. Labor hurts whether you deliver naturally or have a c-section. Whether you have drugs to help or not. And it really is not fair for people to say their’s was more painful than yours because of how they delivered, whether or not they had drugs to help or because of how much their baby weighed. I’m going to state what I feel is the obvious right now – why in the h*ll would you want to be #1 in this category? Really? Now, having said that – for those who may be currently pregnant, please don’t let this scare you. There are drugs that can make things a lot less painful. And I never believed it until I had my son, but right now I don’t remember what the pain felt like. I just remember being in pain. I promise you every second of it is worth it when you get to hold your baby for the first time.
3 – Don’t listen to people right after you deliver. This is when it seems to be the worst. You are tired, exhausted, sore, not getting any sleep, may not be able to eat very much. This is when you are at your weakest and the vultures want to attack. Just don’t give them the chance.
The one bond that women share is motherhood. Even if you never have a child yourself, we all share that bond. I bet at some point you had a pet, right? Or maybe one day you would like to have a child. Or you’ve given a child the greatest gift they could recieve and adopted them. It’s all motherhood in some shape or form. One would think this would be the time women would band together as a cement strong support for each other. Instead it becomes a petty competition of who did it better, whose is bigger – it’s all about the battle scars.
My son is not a battle scar. He is a precious life that is a miracle with every breath he takes. And he would still be this beautiful miracle whether he was 4 pounds, 9 pounds or 15 pounds at his birth. Cherish your own unique labor experience, be grateful for what you have or for what you did not have to experience instead of constantly comparing yours to everyone elses. Because the bottom line is, you truly don’t know what all someone went through just to have that baby. The actual delivery of a baby is such a beautiful thing, I wouldn’t want mine to be exactly like someone else’s.
So in my best Sex in the City impersonation – Does size really matter, or can we not just celebrate the new life that has come to this world?
Salt is Not the Spice of Life's Blog 