Archive for July 16th, 2012

Bless This Broken Road

July 16, 2012

You’ve probably heard the song at every wedding reception in the last couple of years. It is inevitably a status update for many around Valentine’s Day. And I personally think the song has been way overplayed. But that line, “God bless the broken road that led me straight to you” is the best way to describe where I am in my life. For those of you that follow me on facebook know that my absence from my blog has been due to the new wonderful addition to my life – my son. He keeps me busy, on my toes, running around like a chicken with my head cut off, sleepless and extremely tired. And I LOVE every minute of it!!! 

So, what’s the broken road, huh? Most women at some point in their lives settle down, get married and start a family. Well, the settling down and getting married part was always something I had hoped would find its way into my life, but the ‘starting a family’ piece of the puzzle was a door that was closed on me years ago. There were medical tests run to show I could not get pregnant (due to three years on chemo). You can only imagine the flood of emotions that rushed through my veins when the doctor confirmed that we were in fact, pregnant.

There are no words to describe what it’s like to be a mother, and I mean that in a very positive way. My son renders me speechless at times. I look at him, and I look at my job as a mother and I can see how every experience in my life led me to this point, to this moment I thought I would never have. And I would gladly go through all of it again, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the highs and the lows, and even all of the pain. Every bit of it has shaped how I am as a mother and how we want to raise our son.

“I think about the years I’ve spent, just passing through….
But you just smile and take my hand,
you’ve been, there you understand….”

Okay, so my son hasn’t exactly ‘been there’ yet, though this child understands so much at such a young age. He knows the battle I went through just to have him. He remembers the fight we fought to keep both him and I alive. And at times I feel down, he takes my hand and reminds me of the fighter that is buried somewhere inside me.

There is no one to praise except for God for this miracle that is my son. So God, thank you. Thank you for the broken road that led me to my son. Thank you for Jack.

And now, this blog will start to take a little different twist. We will still focus on my heart and the battles around that. But now I have a new heart to celebrate. My heart that is walking outside of my chest, the best part of me – Jack. So stay tuned…. as I write and can get a minute here or there I will slowly update the functioning of this blog.