Posts Tagged ‘Needtobreathe’

Leaving LA

January 24, 2010

It breaks my heart seeing Drew leave LA. I feel like I’m dragging a kid out of the toy store. Drew and I shared a personal moment with him talking on the video about what he was disappointed about. Make no mistake, there was NO disappointment on the activities of the week. His disappointment lies with _______ well, I’ll let you wait and see that one once the documentary is done. I guarantee you, it will bring a tear to your eye and touch a place in your soul. For someone who has such a tough exterior, there is a soft side in there.

As I’m writing this I’m listening to my iPod, Needtobreathe. And the song, “The Heat” comes on, just as magically as the Josh Grobin song came on when I was flying out here…..
Let the drumbeats wash you over
Let the songs come and take you under
Push the life that brought you here, away from you tonight
There’s a place where the pain can’t touch ya
And there’s a fire where the heat won’t burn ya
It’s in the sound of your voice tonight singing in one song

You get a headache and you can take an advil. You break a bone, and the doc may give you a stronger pain pill. That doesn’t even begin to touch the pain Drew lives in. I look over at the goofball and he is dancing in his seat. He can always make me laugh. Change is inevitable, Drew is proof that you can survive it. Families are forever. No matter what you do, no matter what happens. Family is there. Family is love.

I am so thankful to add John and Joe to my family. This week is something I will never forget. And no words I write will ever do this justice. One day Drew, we will find that place where the pain can’t touch you.

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Need to Breathe…

August 22, 2009

I always thought it was just the name to a really cool band my nephew introduced me to. But lately it feels like the overriding theme of my life. I just need to breathe. I need a chance to catch my breath.

“Let the drumbeats wash you over
Let the songs come and take you under
Push the life that brought you here away from you tonight
There’s a place where the pain can’t touch ya
And there’s a fire where the heat won’t burn ya
It’s in the sound of your voice tonight singing in one song ”
(The Heat: needtobreathe)

I need for the sodium to let up so the fluid will stay out of my chest – I need to breathe.
I need the medical bills to stop coming everytime I open my mailbox so I’m not gasping at how I’m going to pay for these – I need to breathe.
I need my insurance to just please give me a f*%&ing break so the meds I HAVE to HAVE are not another stupid mortgage payment every month, I need these meds to breathe.
I need for my heart to understand this train that has railroaded it emotionally so it doesn’t keep making me lose my breath – I need to breathe.

This time is just a season,
You deserve much more.
Lift up your head,
Look out the window,
Cause it’s almost over now,
Take back the time that your fear has stolen.
Cause it’s almost over now.”
(Over Now:needtobreathe)

I need the weight of the world taken off my shoulders so maybe I can get some rest – I need to breathe.
I want to find that place that love never dies, because it does take my breath away – I need to breathe.
I need for the tears to stop flowing, it makes my nose get all stopped up – and I need to breathe.
I need for my heart to stop aching over something that is obviously never going to change and let it go – I need to breathe.

Love is just like a war we can’t win
We can give, we can give, we can give
When we stand in the face of the world falling down
In your hands you hold the pen
What’s your answer for the end

When there’s nothing that we can’t afford to sacrifice
There’s no way they can put out your fire
There’s no way they can put out my fire
Oh, Oh, I’ve got nothing left
Nothing left to lose
” (Nothing Left to Loose: needtobreathe)

Cause we are alive
We are strong
We can’t watch it go for nothing
Watch until it’s gone
And we are down
But we can choose
We’ve got nothing else to live for
Nothing left to lose

Can God give me the direction of where I am supposed to go??? Because this uncertainty gives me great pains in my chest – and I need to breathe.

“Because I’m down
Down on my knees
Waiting on something beautiful……”
  (Something Beautiful:needtobreathe)

I need a couple of days of vacation from reality where I can feel normal and not worry about the repercussions on my heart and my legs. I just need to breathe.
I need to let the top down speeding down the interstate like Thelma & Louise – because I need to breathe.
I need to know how to let go of the recent issues/struggles that are paralyzing me – since I’m not allowed to jump out of a plane again, and I have to let go….I need to breathe.
I need the assurance that my life up to this point hasn’t been one big failure. Because it kinda feels that way right now – and I need to breathe.

“I can’t help but fear I’ve done this wrong
Cause seldom second chances come along
If time can break us, will it make us strong
Cause seldom second chances come along”
  (Seond Chances: need to breathe)

Maybe I need to learn how to ask for help, because I’m worn out… and I need to breathe.
I need someone to stand beside me no matter what when I fall. Because sometimes when it gets hard to breathe, it gets harder and harder to pick myself up off the ground.
I need to find the fighting spirit inside of me again, because I’m tired of being the warrior – and I need to breathe.

I need to dance… like I need to breathe.

Somewhere between the end, And the point where we begin
There’s a fire burning brightly, That’s found it’s way to dim
When the feeling’s gone
Shine on, shine on
And on to something new, It’s long and overdue
I will remember you
Shine on, shine on
And let the others see, You’ve got your victory
Will you remember me, I was with you in the valley
And up upon that hill, So take just one more step infromt of you
For I am with you still, And you’re not alone
Shine on, shine on
and on to something new, It’s long and overdue
I will remember you
Shine on, shine on
And let the others see, You’ve got your victory
Will you remember me
Can you see my hands are open, I am waiting just ahead
And you think you need it all now, But you needed me instead
Shine on, shine on
Shine, oh shine on
Won’t you, won’t you shine
Shine on, shine on
Somewhere between the end
And the point where we began…”
(Shine On: needtobreathe)