So… tonight something really scared the shit out of me. Drew woke up in the middle of the night and was trying to get mine or Melissa’s attention. When I finally came out of my sleep fog to realize what was going on, Melissa had it all taken care of and was laying back down. He needed the blankets adjusted. While some of you may not think that is a big deal, it is to him. If the blankets weigh too heavily on his feet, they can create sores on his toes. What scared me soo badly was what if I hadn’t woken up? What if it was just me in the room and he couldn’t get my attention? A fear pierced thru my body…. Is this some kind of sign – like a sign that I won’t be a good mother one day?
Archive for January 20th, 2010
A Scary Moment
January 20, 2010Alone
January 20, 2010I actually wrote this Tuesday night, just didn’t have time to post it….
Drew wanted a little alone time tonight to decompress, so Melissa and I went to the bar for a few drinks. A very harsh reality set in with me. Drew can’t go to sleep until we come back to the room. He can’t just say, “Okay, I’ve had enough for today” and call it an early night. Just about every move he makes depends on someone else. When’s the last time you laid down to take a nap? Remember how good that felt? Well, next time remember that nap is a LUXURY you take for granted everytime you lay your precious little head on that pillow. And what about that night you spent tossing and turning because you couldn’t sleep. You probably woke up the next day complaining about the bad night’s sleep you had. I know I have! The ability to toss and turn in your sleep is another LUXURY you take for granted.
As I’m writing this, Drew calls out for me – Did he take his night medicine? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten to take my medicine. But here’s the difference – I forget, I get up out of bed, go to my bathroom and take my medicine. He can’t. Someone has to put the pills in his mouth. I’m not writing this for you to feel sorry for him. Trust me, that is the LAST thing Drew wants. I’m writing this because of the basic functions we have in everyday life that all os us take for granted. And while he is literally busting his ass so that he’s not just another number on disability, working every breathing moment he has to make something out of himself so that people don’t see him as Drew the quad but Drew the brilliant artist, CNN is reporting about what message Michelle Obama’s fashion choices are sending America!! Really?? Are you serious?? Seems like we need to get our priorities straight. Maybe CNN needs some time alone to decompress!!!
Are You Serious????
January 20, 2010This trip really is just the opportunity of a lifetime!! Yesterday we spent the day at Warner Brothers studios on the set of Two & A Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. I am officially recanting anytime I said an actors job was easy. Seeing things from behind the scenes gives you a whole new/different perspective. They have to do several run-thru’s, camera blocking, get notes on how everything looks, do another run-thru. The process keeps going and going. And I had no idea how much time and work go into the set designs. The set designers actually help create storylines thru their visions and creativity. It’s simply amazing!! And even though they were working and “in their zone”, the actors still took time to visit with us. That really meant a lot to me. Personally, when I’m in the middle of a big project at work, I don’t want to be bothered. So, acting and the whole production of what you see on television is a hell of a lot harder than I ever imagined.
Very similiar to Drew’s life. Traveling with him and spending 24 hours a day with him really gives me a different perspective on things. I could only have imagined how hard life is as a quadrapalegic, but the reality is that it’s a hell of a lot harder than I could ever have imagined. And I’m just seeing the tip of the iceberg. Drew, you are one of the strongest people I have ever known!!
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