I can’t get the conversation I had with Melissa at the bar Tuesday night out of my mind. I’ve heard Drew tell his story of what little he remembers happened, and what people told him happened; but to not only hear her words – to see the fear still in her eyes at the thought of losing her brother. It really has moved me. They say when you have children you experience a love unlike no other, true unconditional love. I would match that with the heartfelt words that came from Melissa’s mouth. She truly would, will and did move mountains to help Drew, to make his life a little easier, to get him anything he needs, to put a smile on his face. If you could see the fierceness in her eyes when it comes to her brother, you would understand. She was not going to lose her brother, not then and not now. He is her heart. Makes me wonder who in my life would fight that hard for me? I know two – my mother and my father. Drew and Melissa have a very special relationship, a special connection. Almost makes me jealous that I don’t have that same type of bond and relationship with my brother and sister.
People have often said to me that if they were in my situation they don’t feel they would survive or be able to fight. I kindly would reply with you just never know how you will react until put in the situation, that often times you will surprise even yourself. I am the one now saying those words – I don’t think I am strong enough to survive what he has. I don’t think I would have held on 16 hours on an iced over road with the desire to live like he did. And I definitely don’t think I would have the will to continue pushing down walls when just about every one of my personal abilities was taken away from me. What makes me so ashamed now, is that this time last year I was on here ranting about how I couldn’t go sky diving or go to my dance class because my stupid little heart went into failure.
I have no reason to complain when I am with Drew. You have no reason to complain. Having Drew in my life, knowing him, spending time with him – makes me a better person. Now I just need to get the rest of the world to know him…..
Tags: Confessions, Health, Heart Failure, Los Angeles, Multiple Sclerosis, Rants, Reflections
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