Great Expectations

One of my all time favorite books in life is Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I first read the book when I was in high school, and guess I connected on so many levels with the story. Its a love story that fights so hard to only realize in the end that their love should be together.

Finn – ” What is it like to go thru life not feeling anything?”
Estella – “We are who we are.”

Everytime he looks at her, his heart breaks all over again. Yet he still has that expectation that the next time she will stay, she will return his love. As hard as he tries to forget her, she forges her foothold stronger on his heart. And everytime she leaves, he never knows when or if he will ever see her again; only that he can’t stop loving her. The crazy part is that while she toys with him, drives him mad, she loves him just as much.

Finn – “Anything that might be special in me is you.”

How powerful is that, how heart wrenching is that. You love someone so intensely they become a part of your soul. And he was even warned from the beginning that she would only break his heart.

Finn – “Lay your hand on my chest. Do you know what this is? It’s my heart, broken.”

No matter how hard they try to deny their feelings, and as much as the world keeps them apart, they were always meant to be together.
Maybe I’m just a sucker for a good love story…..
Maybe I feel like this story keeps playing out in my life in one fashion or another….
Maybe I can see in my life where I have been in the position of Finn, getting my heart broken and still loving him regardless….
Or maybe it’s because I can see in my life where I have been in the position of Estella, being the heartbreaker….

Or maybe it’s just the fact that in the end, I have the great expectation that my love story will have a happy ending too….

This story always reminds me of my favorite E.E. Cummings poem:
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear,  and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                                                 i fear
no  fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beatuiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

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2 Responses to “Great Expectations”

  1. cathy bowyer Says:

    It is ok to have great expectations. It’s ok to dream big, its ok to expect happy endings, they do happen!!! AND THEY WILL!! Love you my hero and inspiration

    • saltisnotthespiceoflife Says:

      Yeah, but at some point you just have to realize that certain dreams will never happen and let them go like that balloon. You wake up the next morning to reality.

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