Hmmm…. Is Love a Lie???

I’ll start off by answering that question – Nope. But I sure did want to question that on Sunday. I haven’t really talked much about my dating life on here. But this one was too good not to. Oh trust me, on Sunday, I was so pissed I could punched a hole through the wall. I feel like maybe I need to give the men of Atlanta, or any other place that I may date a BIG piece of advice: It’s a pretty damn good idea to be OUT of a relationship before you try to start a new one.

So, lately I was seeing this guy…. we’ll call him Architect, as he was so adamantly known amongst my friends. I was really buying into this guy’s song and dance. I even got a candlelight dinner cooked for me (adhering to my sodium restrictions). And when I say candlelight – I mean every room in the house had candles, even the bathroom. The deck was lined with torches lit for us to eat dinner under the stars. Sounds romantic doesn’t it?? I thought so. I’m thinking things are going pretty well with this guy. My friends are even giving me a hard time about not just knocking down the guarded walls I put up and just going for it with him.

Okay, so now let me give the men of Atlanta, or any other place… yada yada another piece of advice: DON’T let the blonde hair on my head fool you for one minute. I’m not an idiot.

I get a call Saturday night as he is driving home from his ex-girlfriend’s house. Um, excuse me – WHAT?? Yeah, come to find out this ex-girlfriend is now his best friend. They dated for somewhere around 7 years, lived together… thought they were going to get married. Yeah, and you just walk away from that and go to being best friends. Oh – and on top of that, he see’s her at least 3x a week. But nooooo… there is nothing physical going on there, nothing but absolute friendship. I’m sorry, at what point in the game did you think I had the words “stupid” or “gullible” written across my forehead?? Hell, one of my best friends lives 5 minutes down the road from me and I don’t even get to see her hardly 3x a month. Are you kidding me?????

So… on Sunday, I go over to his house to talk about this. I personally wanted to see his face as he explained this load of bullshit to me. The sad thing is, I do think that he did like me, I do believe there was actually a connection. But I also believe that he truly believes the story he told me – that he is over her, that he is ready to move on, that she is nothing but his best friend. Now, don’t get me wrong – I do believe men and women can be best friends and nothing physical happen. I personally have several examples in my life of that. But this situation – give me a break if you think I’m buying that. Because if you honestly need to see your ex 3x a week (minimum) then sir that is not a “friendship” that is a “relationship” and you clearly are not over her or ready to move on. And please show me ONE woman out there who would actually allow this with the man she is dating. Hmm… NOT ME!

As I was driving back to Atlanta today (went to Tifton to visit my sister..) a song came on my ipod that had me laughing hysterically thinking of this situation. “You Love is a Lie” by Simple Plan:

“I can’t bite my tongue forever, while you try to play it cool
You can hide behind your stories, but don’t take me for a fool
You can tell me that there’s nobody else (But I feel it)
You can tell me that your home by yourself (But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know… I know you love is just a lie
It’s nothing but a lie
….. You’re nothing but a lie”

I feel that pretty much sums that story up, don’t ya think????

Now, without going into details, he got the picture loud and clear that there would be no future anything between us. And here is the ironic part, before if this would have happened, the door to dating would be slammed shut for me. My friends would get the call, “I’m officially off the dating market and will just enjoy being single…” This time, I’m going to do things a little differently. I’m not shutting that door like I would before. I’m not going to be “one of those girls” that says all men are jerks. Nahh… but this architect sure was.  You’re mistakes don’t define you, they only tell you who you’re not. And this life is the only one I get, so why not live it up to the fullest.

As messed up as Britney Spears has been, her latest song “Circus” says it perfect – “There are two type of guys out there. Ones that can hang with me and the ones that are scared. So Baby, I hope that you came prepared, I run a tight ship so beware.” We (meaning actually me) will stay open to dating, but I think we need to get a few things straight:

I have standards, and I won’t lower them for anyone.
I have certain expectations of how a woman, how I, will be treated.
I am strong-minded, strong-willed and very independant. (If you can’t handle that –> there’s the door)
I don’t put up with shit, and in return I don’t expect anyone to put up with mine.
I am NOT your typical blonde, do not underestimate me.

So back out into the dating world we go…. And guys, you can either hang with me or your scared. I’m actually looking forward to seeing how this one is going to pan out.

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One Response to “Hmmm…. Is Love a Lie???”

  1. Julie B. Smith Says:

    Ok. Let’s think about the architect. Evidently, he specializes in creating structures built of cards. Pretty unimpressive if you ask me. So much for the Ass of Hearts, oh, sorry. Guess my hand slipped—— I meant Ace, not Ass.. Not really. Maybe Mr A should think about building something other than a structure. May I suggest character as a good starting point. Exs are so over-rated. They are needy, selfish, jealous, and possessive. I say let her have him. Good riddence.

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