And the Winner is…. LINDSEY!!!

So how did you like that knockout punch reality??? Did it hurt to feel the sting of my multiple blows to your head? Did you hear me smirking at you when you were too weak to get back up off the matt? You have done nothing but talk trash to me for the last 40-days. Well son, talk only gets you so far. Your mouth was writing checks your body couldn’t cash. And the funny thing is you little SOB – I even warned you. I told you my strategy on fighting – to learn your enemies weaknesses. And I have been studying you so closely. Like a lot of other people, you grossly underestimated me, my strength and my abilities. Now because I love an extra tough challenge, hear this warning – and you better take it to heart. Do not underestimate my abilities again or that could be a grave mistake you won’t ever recover from. I know that there will be another rematch. But for now, I have the HeavyWeight Kicking Heart Failure’s Ass Championship Title Belt, and I’d like to just see you try to take it back.

Everyday is a fight with that loser reality. Trying to make my heart slowing stop pumping blood thru it so I just die. Trying to make me so angry, frustrated and depressed that I will just give up. REALITY – when are you going to get the message that it won’t happen. Yes there will be days when I am angry as hell. Yes there will be days when I am so frustrated I want to pull my hair out. And yes there will be days when I get depressed over all of this and seriously wondering when I get my break. But those times are only temporary. (And for anyone out there reading this who has the balls to say “I’ve never been depressed a day in my life” – I’m flat out calling bull shit on you! Getting sad or depressed over a horrible situation doesn’t make you a looney-tune – it makes you human. Its how you decide to react to it that makes the difference.) I was raised to have a strong back bone, to be a fighter in mind, body and spirit, to never back down and to always give thanks to the One who gives me that capability – God. So for everyone out there praying for me – keep it up. But don’t pray for lighter burdens on me, pray for me to have a stronger back!

The only limits we have in life are the ones we put on ourselves. In the hospital my ejection fraction was 15%. I could barely breathe, I could barely move or function. I was like a zombie. It was a toss up as to what would happen. Every 33 seconds someone in the country dies of heart disease. 1 out 2 women will die of heart disease (guess you want to be paired up with me, huh???) The life expectacy for a woman under 70 diagnosed with heart failure is 8 years. My heart was weak, and well… we just didn’t know what was going to happen. I have been and will continue to read everything I can get my hands on about heart failure, nutrition, the effects diet has, and hollistic medicines that may help – anything…. As I said, everyday is a fight for me. If I can’t get my heart stronger than I might as well just die. Its not enough for me to just be breathing, I have to be able to live.

So today, on Day 40 of heart failure, I got the call from my cardiologist that my ejection fraction had improved from 15% to 35%!!!! Knockout Reality!! If I can keep it in the 30’s or higher that means I am no longer in the risk of needing a pace maker. And I may be able to get back to exercising faster than I thought. Even the doc’s office was surprised with how well my heart is responding. While I was completely escatic, jumping up and down and screaming… a part of me wasn’t as surprised. Because you see… “This not tournament Daniel-Son.” This isn’t about getting in the highest dance class level, it isn’t about getting a medal, or riding the fastest race. This is my heart, this is my life – this is me being able to live. As Buddha said, “Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes.

So reality – because I know this is just the beginning and there will be many more encounters to come, let me leave you with one last warning. This is from a man I have a great deal of respect for, was an incredible martial artists and one I have enjoyed studying his teachings:

A fight is not won by one punch or kick. Either learn to endure or hire a bodyguard.”  ~Bruce Lee


8 Responses to “And the Winner is…. LINDSEY!!!”

  1. Cathy Bowyer / Mom Says:

    Love you

  2. Mary Alice Says:

    God is so very good!

  3. Becky Hoover Says:

    Hooray! So glad for the good news and the answered prayer!

  4. Jay Says:

    This is great! I love the changes to the blog. You move fast.

  5. Tiffany Says:

    You go, Spidermonkey!

  6. Karen Long Says:

    Great news! You’re always a fighter and that’s what will get you through this. Keep on gong! Love u!

  7. Lee Ann Says:

    i am so happy for you!!! you have been in my thoughts and prayers since day 1. i was telling matt lastnight about what is going on with you. 😉 i was reading your blog on the storm and he wanted to read them too. 😉

  8. Mary and David Says:

    WOW. Sooo happy to see such progress in such a short time. But we should have known because of the fight in you. Keep it up and you will still be in our prayers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: