Confession Time…..Saturday Morning

January 23, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

I’m sure at this point when people read this on my blog they are going to hate me. How in the world can I even begin to complain or have a complaint? I’m on the trip of a lifetime, getting the opportunity of a lifetime – to see and experience events few non-celebrity people get to do. I’m traveling with a quadrapalegic who would probably love to feel pain in his legs, to feel anything in his legs….. Yet, it’s saturday morning, and I have another confession to make……..

I just don’t know how much more my arms and legs can lift. They are so tired, they’re turning into noodles. I haven’t lifted anything over 15 pounds since before December 2009, so this week has felt like I’m training for the Ironman Competition. And even though I am clearly struggling, Drew seems to have the utmost patience with me when I screw things up.

I have so much respect for him and his family right now. Really gives me a new appreciation of what my parents have dealt with throughout all my medical mishaps. As soon as I want to complain I just look over at Drew, and my mind cannot begin to understand or comprehend what life is like for him. I hate confessions. I hate that I even think these thoughts of weakness.

A Little Taste of Heaven

January 22, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

So…. there is definitely one thing the West coast has that we are LACKING in the South –> In-n- Out Burgers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, have mercy! I’ll take a #4 with onions please!! This was insanely good! Everyone has told me to try one of these burgers, now I understand. For all of you out there who have sung their praises – I get it now!

I don’t know if there is any truth to this or not, but I’ve been told In-n- Out Burgers refuse to franchise and that is why we don’t see them on the East coast, or more importantly down South. Well, I have one word for you – MCDONALDs!! I think there is an important business lesson here – over 1 billion burgers served! How can you NOT benefit from coming to the South? So…. anyone want to go in with me and try to open one of these puppies here in Georgia???????

Party Like It’s 1959!!

January 22, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

WOW!! John and Joe threw Drew the most amazing party last night! He got the chance to feel like a king (as if we weren’t already getting the royal treatment all week!) and visit with many of his old friends and colleagues from his days back in LA before the accident. And true to form from the rest of the week, John and Joe went big! We had a fabulous bar, fabulous food, fabulous hosts and a fabulous time!!

I have not seen that smile leave Drew’s face all week. Out here in LA, he is really in his element. LA is most definitely not made for everyone, but it is made for Drew. I really enjoyed getting a chance to meet his friends, hear old Drew stories and see how genuinely happy everyone is for him. I often talk about how I need to get my battery re-charged, and I think this party did that for Drew. In the depths of the woods of Blythewood, SC, one can often forget or lose sight of the audience that is out in the world cheering you on.

Like so many times this week, I am yet again reminded how very precious our lives are. How quickly life can change with every breathe that you take. How fast the road God sends you down can turn into a different direction. All the while we are strapped in holding on for the ride and praying we get there safely. How one minute you are driving your truck back to LA and next minute you are lying on a frozen road for 16 hours grasping on to your life, so that you can see another breathe.

Be thankful for the amenities and functionalities you have in your life. Be grateful for the people who love and support you. Tell the people you love that you love them, and don’t hold grudges. For it can all be gone and over with so quickly.

Confession Time…..Friday Morning

January 22, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

I woke up so tired and sore. I can feel my legs starting to shut down. I can feel I’ve put too much stress on my heart, fluid is backing up in my chest like there is a running facet inside there. And I feel like the most selfish, vain bitch for even feeling this way. I guess maybe by writing it I’m not saying it out loud, as if that makes this any better. I don’t have the right to complain. Drew can’t feel his legs, can’t move his legs. I’m trying so hard to help with moving him in/out of his wheelchair, getting him dressed and I feel like this weakling. As I blow dry my hair I can’t stop my eyes from watering up. I don’t want Drew to see me crying. I’m sitting here frustrated because my legs are tired and my heart is exhausted. And Drew is in a wheelchair.

Just as I am about to hit rock bottom from the guilt of feeling sorry for myself Drew starts laughing. He’s watching some of the video I took last night at his party. That smile lights up my heart. That laugh lets my body know it will be okay, it can make it. Despite the bruises, the aches, the pains – I will be okay. If he can have the strength to survive on an icy road, I can muster up the strength to continue doing this.

Just Playing in the Rain…..

January 21, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

I feel like I’m in the middle of a tsunami!! How crazy is this weather! It has pretty much rained non-stop since we got here. And what is wild is evidently LA has not seen weather like this in 5 years. Of course it’s going to hit the week we are here! Melissa and I finally broke down and bought a pair of goloshes! The very last 2 in the store! Luckily they were our sizes. I have a feeling we will be jumping in a lot of puddles now! Ha! Oh, and I should share all of my Mary Poppins moments. Clearly umbrellas do not like me out here. Everyone I touch gets flipped inside out by the wind as if it were going to lift me away! Only seems fitting, I feel like I’m in the middle of a movie with this week. Being whisked from set to set, studio to studio, going to awards shows…… Today we were on the set of Chuck, got the opportunity to watch them do a few takes and meet Zach Levi. How surreal is this?? I just don’t want anyone to pinch me and wake me up from this dream…….

The Pursuit of Excellence

January 21, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

This has been the theme of our trip – the pursuit of excellence. Drew came up with it and I feel it is rather fitting. Not just for this trip, as we meet with those who are best in the industry and study what they do and how they do it, but fitting for Drew as well. Monday was MLK day, alot of people were posting his quotes. There was one in particular that stuck out for me, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” That is Drew, that is this trip, that is UniquePublications – he took the first step when he couldn’t even see a single staircase out there!

And yesterday just seemed to capture this pursuit. John Shaffner gave us a tour of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences. They recently moved into a new building, it was fabulous (to use Joe Stewart’s word!!) to see all of the accomplishments over the years. It’s one thing to sit on my couch and watch a show on the tv, but to see how it comes to life behind the scenes is truly magical. And I’ll be the first one to admit that I was wrong about how easy the life of an actor is. After seeing the run-thru’s and camera blocking for Two & a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory, showed me it’s not easy. They work 15 hour days. I have a new found appreciation for the industry.

Then to top off the night we went to the Hall of Fame Awards Show for The Academy. My first awards show!!! I could barely breathe I was so excited!! Amy Poehler was the host, alum from Saturday Night Live. Lorne Michaels and a lot of the cast sat at the table next to us. They were so gracious and took a picture with Drew. I got so tickled, one second I am taking a sip of my drink and turn to talk to the lady sitting next to me. The next second I see this wheelchair go zooming out of the corner of my eye – he was off!! He drove right up to Molly Shannon and started talking! It was classic! Candice Bergen, Charles Lisanby, Don Pardo, Gene Roddenberry, Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers and Bob Stewart were all inducted into the Hall of Fame. Some of those names I know you recognize, some you may not. I will tell you that I did NOT recognize Candice Bergen when she walked up on stage!! Maybe the change in her hair????

Lisanby is three-time Primetime Emmy Award winning director and production designer. One was for a special on Barry Manilow. Lisanby talked about the first time he heard of this invention called a television and said “he knew this was the beginning of something very important.” The Academy said what Lisanby didn’t know then was the importance television would play in his career, or how significant his contributions would be to the world of television. Let that sentence sink in for a minute. Because one day you will hear those same words spoken about Drew Bates!

Don Pardo is a staff announcer for NBC, better known as the announcer for Saturday Night Live!! We all know that voice! The man is 92 years old and still working. That shows a true love and passion for your job. That shows excellence!

Gene Roddenberry is a television writer and producer. I’ll give you a big hint on his claim to fame – “to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.” For those of you who did not get the hint – Star Trek! In addition to his accomplishments with television, he was a decorated combat pilot in the U.S. Army Air Corps. Continuing the excellence….

Everyone should know the Smothers Brothers. And for those that don’t recognize the name Bob Stewart, he is the genius that created many of the game shows you watched on tv growing up like The Price is Right and $10,000 Pyramid.

What made the night just perfect was sitting at the table with John Shaffner, Chairman and CEO of The Academy and Joe Stewart, Award winning set designer. John and Joe designed the set for Friends, I know we will all remember Monica’s apartment till the day we die!! That’s just one of the many lists of accomplishments they have. And seeing the permanent smile on Drew’s face as we watched the presentations and seeing the various talent that was in the room with us. Drew, this is just the start of your pursuit. I’m so glad I’m going on this journey with you!

Confession Time….

January 21, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

I can’t get the conversation I had with Melissa at the bar Tuesday night out of my mind. I’ve heard Drew tell his story of what little he remembers happened, and what people told him happened; but to not only hear her words – to see the fear still in her eyes at the thought of losing her brother. It really has moved me. They say when you have children you experience a love unlike no other, true unconditional love. I would match that with the heartfelt words that came from Melissa’s mouth. She truly would, will and did move mountains to help Drew, to make his life a little easier, to get him anything he needs, to put a smile on his face. If you could see the fierceness in her eyes when it comes to her brother, you would understand. She was not going to lose her brother, not then and not now. He is her heart. Makes me wonder who in my life would fight that hard for me? I know two – my mother and my father. Drew and Melissa have a very special relationship, a special connection. Almost makes me jealous that I don’t have that same type of bond and relationship with my brother and sister.

People have often said to me that if they were in my situation they don’t feel they would survive or be able to fight. I kindly would reply with you just never know how you will react until put in the situation, that often times you will surprise even yourself. I am the one now saying those words – I don’t think I am strong enough to survive what he has. I don’t think I would have held on 16 hours on an iced over road with the desire to live like he did. And I definitely don’t think I would have the will to continue pushing down walls when just about every one of my personal abilities was taken away from me. What makes me so ashamed now, is that this time last year I was on here ranting about how I couldn’t go sky diving or go to my dance class because my stupid little heart went into failure.

I have no reason to complain when I am with Drew. You have no reason to complain. Having Drew in my life, knowing him, spending time with him – makes me a better person. Now I just need to get the rest of the world to know him…..

A Scary Moment

January 20, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

So… tonight something really scared the shit out of me. Drew woke up in the middle of the night and was trying to get mine or Melissa’s attention. When I finally came out of my sleep fog to realize what was going on, Melissa had it all taken care of and was laying back down. He needed the blankets adjusted. While some of you may not think that is a big deal, it is to him. If the blankets weigh too heavily on his feet, they can create sores on his toes. What scared me soo badly was what if I hadn’t woken up? What if it was just me in the room and he couldn’t get my attention? A fear pierced thru my body…. Is this some kind of sign - like a sign that I won’t be a good mother one day?

Alone

January 20, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

I actually wrote this Tuesday night, just didn’t have time to post it….

Drew wanted a little alone time tonight to decompress, so Melissa and I went to the bar for a few drinks. A very harsh reality set in with me. Drew can’t go to sleep until we come back to the room. He can’t just say, “Okay, I’ve had enough for today” and call it an early night. Just about every move he makes depends on someone else. When’s the last time you laid down to take a nap? Remember how good that felt? Well, next time remember that nap is a LUXURY you take for granted everytime you lay your precious little head on that pillow. And what about that night you spent tossing and turning because you couldn’t sleep. You probably woke up the next day complaining about the bad night’s sleep you had. I know I have! The ability to toss and turn in your sleep is another LUXURY you take for granted.

As I’m writing this, Drew calls out for me – Did he take his night medicine? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten to take my medicine. But here’s the difference – I forget, I get up out of bed, go to my bathroom and take my medicine. He can’t. Someone has to put the pills in his mouth. I’m not writing this for you to feel sorry for him. Trust me, that is the LAST thing Drew wants. I’m writing this because of the basic functions we have in everyday life that all os us take for granted. And while he is literally busting his ass so that he’s not just another number on disability, working every breathing moment he has to make something out of himself so that people don’t see him as Drew the quad but Drew the brilliant artist, CNN is reporting about what message Michelle Obama’s fashion choices are sending America!! Really?? Are you serious?? Seems like we need to get our priorities straight. Maybe CNN needs some time alone to decompress!!!

Are You Serious????

January 20, 2010 by saltisnotthespiceoflife

This trip really is just the opportunity of a lifetime!! Yesterday we spent the day at Warner Brothers studios on the set of Two & A Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. I am officially recanting anytime I said an actors job was easy. Seeing things from behind the scenes gives you a whole new/different perspective. They have to do several run-thru’s, camera blocking, get notes on how everything looks, do another run-thru. The process keeps going and going. And I had no idea how much time and work go into the set designs. The set designers actually help create storylines thru their visions and creativity. It’s simply amazing!! And even though they were working and “in their zone”, the actors still took time to visit with us. That really meant a lot to me. Personally, when I’m in the middle of a big project at work, I don’t want to be bothered. So, acting and the whole production of what you see on television is a hell of a lot harder than I ever imagined.
Very similiar to Drew’s life. Traveling with him and spending 24 hours a day with him really gives me a different perspective on things. I could only have imagined how hard life is as a quadrapalegic, but the reality is that it’s a hell of a lot harder than I could ever have imagined. And I’m just seeing the tip of the iceberg. Drew, you are one of the strongest people I have ever known!!