Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
February 3, 2010
It’s only Wednesday and man has this been one emotionally draining week. And with it, I was reminded of some incredible people in my life I just wanted to say thanks to. These are the people that kept me up, kept me moving, kept me smiling and basically – kept me alive during my divorce and thru my heart failure. When you go thru something so life changing, it is so easy to just cut the rest of the world off from you. To hole up. To stick your head in the sand. To be angry at the whole world. To give up. And some key people in my life kept me from doing all of that. When I didn’t want to see the light of day, they threw the curtains back and drug my butt out of bed. When I wanted to be by myself, they grabbed a bottle of wine and a good movie and made sure I wasn’t alone. When I didn’t know if I would ever laugh again, they helped me find my smile. And when I just wanted to throw in the towel, they pushed and challenged me to be better than I was before; and they grabbed that towel out of my hand.
That is what a true friend is. Someone who will pick you up when you fall flat on your face, love you when your ugly, be your strongest supporter, and never give up on you – even if you give up on yourself. I am so thankful I have people like this in my life. You know who you are, and I do not tell you “thank you” enough. I don’t tell you how much I love you, value you and cherish you being in my life enough. I would not be here today with out you.
“You walked with me, footprints in the sand
And helped me understand where I’m going
You walked with me when I was all alone
With so much I know along the way
Then I heard you say
I promise you, I’m always here
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you when you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand.” -Leona Lewis
For each of you that made that difference in my life, I promise you – I will carry you when you need the friend. You will always find my footprints in the sand, right beside you.
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January 31, 2010
I have been especially sentimental over this last week. Reminiscing….going through old songs on my iPod, photos…… Thinking about what was, what could have been, maybe even what should have been….. A door I thought had closed forever, and probably should be, was re-opened with a mysterious email. Funny how that can take you on a trip down memory lane – some good, some bad.
One place it did lead me was to one of my favorite trips, favorite memories – when Renee and I went to Paris. Nothing but a backpack, a little cash, a Paris guidebook and two open & eager minds to explore the world got on a train and had no idea what was ahead of us. We saw Paris in a way many people never will. The memory that sticks so strongly in my mind was us at the Buddha Bar. It was the first (and only time mind you) I had smoked a Cuban cigar. We had a glass of Cognac to go with it. All dressed up with our cigar and cognac, I felt so sophisticated…cultured…worldly. We were free spirits ready to embark on the city of love and enjoy whatever it had to give us. I didn’t want to let go of that feeling then, and I don’t want to let go of it now. The serenity in just sitting back and enjoying that cigar, without a care in the world of what’s going to happen tomorrow, or if I’ll ever have someone to spend tomorrow with. The bravery to grab him by the hand and go salsa dancing when we didn’t have a clue what we were doing. I miss those times. With all the craziness going on in my life right now, it makes me want to just sit back and smoke a cigar.
For those of you out there that are cigar smokers, please check out my friend’s blog and start following him on facebook and twitter: http://cigarsage.com/
Right now, Cigar Sage has a great giveaway where one lucky winner can get the sampler box from Alec Bradley. So check him out, and become a subscriber. Who knows, maybe you’ll be the lucky winner and we can just sit back and smoke a cigar.
Tags:cigars, Love, Reflections, Relationships
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January 28, 2010
So I’ve been back 4 days now from LA, and I still can’t get my body back in tune with East coast time. Or maybe the exhaustion hasn’t completely left my body. I already feel like I am 3 weeks behind in everything I need to do, with no time to catch up on sleep or work…… 2010 just starts and time is flying by!!
Everyday since I’ve been back, there is something new I find in my daily activities to be thankful for. I feel like that is one of the best ways I can pay respects to Drew for the beautiful gift he shared with me – his life. It’s crazy because today it hit me like a ton of bricks. A few “incidents” happened today that really tested my nerves and my patience. What pushed me over the edge with them was priorities, realizations. These “incidents” are so meaningless, and stupid compared to the battles Drew faces on a daily basis. I was reading the latest People magazine and the cover was Heidi Montag and all of her plastic surgery. In the article she talked about how it really tested her marriage because Spencer had to pull down her pants for her to go to the bathroom. REALLY??? I thought I had one up because with my MS, my mom has had to carry me to the bathroom, so did my ex-husband. But that is truly nothing compared to what Drew has endured.
So, as I struggle to get back “normal” life here in Atlanta (my heart still feels like it went thru the Powerman…) here is what I know: I am a lucky person to know Drew Bates. I am humbled for being around him. For all of you out there that are just “friends” with him on facebook, I challenge you to really get to know him. See what he is all about, and how you can be a part of what will one day be his incredible empire. Make sure the ones you love know that you love them. Life can change so dramatically, so quickly. Hug them, kiss them, don’t go to bed mad at them. Let the small stuff go. Have no regets. Live your life to the absolute fullest it can be. Be thankful for every breathe you take, because you never know when it will be your last.
Tags:Deep Thoughts, Inspiration, Los Angeles, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Travel
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January 24, 2010
It breaks my heart seeing Drew leave LA. I feel like I’m dragging a kid out of the toy store. Drew and I shared a personal moment with him talking on the video about what he was disappointed about. Make no mistake, there was NO disappointment on the activities of the week. His disappointment lies with _______ well, I’ll let you wait and see that one once the documentary is done. I guarantee you, it will bring a tear to your eye and touch a place in your soul. For someone who has such a tough exterior, there is a soft side in there.
As I’m writing this I’m listening to my iPod, Needtobreathe. And the song, “The Heat” comes on, just as magically as the Josh Grobin song came on when I was flying out here…..
Let the drumbeats wash you over
Let the songs come and take you under
Push the life that brought you here, away from you tonight
There’s a place where the pain can’t touch ya
And there’s a fire where the heat won’t burn ya
It’s in the sound of your voice tonight singing in one song
You get a headache and you can take an advil. You break a bone, and the doc may give you a stronger pain pill. That doesn’t even begin to touch the pain Drew lives in. I look over at the goofball and he is dancing in his seat. He can always make me laugh. Change is inevitable, Drew is proof that you can survive it. Families are forever. No matter what you do, no matter what happens. Family is there. Family is love.
I am so thankful to add John and Joe to my family. This week is something I will never forget. And no words I write will ever do this justice. One day Drew, we will find that place where the pain can’t touch you.
Tags:Deep Thoughts, Inspiration, Los Angeles, Needtobreathe, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Relationships, Travel
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January 23, 2010
As we continue on this movie journey, in line with all drama’s we end this trip with an invitation to The Screen Actor’s Guild Awards Show. Words cannot begin to express what that experience was like. The second I put on my dress, I felt like a queen getting ready to go to her coronation. And Drew was absolutely handsome in his tux! It is the most sensational experience to walk the red carpet. If only these crazy fans in the stands were screaming my name…… I have to work on my impromptu smile. It’s harder than it looks people! You are concentrating on not stepping on your dress or falling, then at a nano-seconds notice you have to pose, smile, click – photo taken. You really have to be on your game walking the red carpet! Word to newbies out there who will eventually attend one of these shows – until you are famous enough to have someone carry your train down the red carpet, don’t get a dress with a long train…. Just saying….
Melissa and I got to be back stage with Joe. Joe designed the set for the awards show, and it was absolutely breathtaking!! Just beautiful. One thing I that has become crystal clear to me out here this week, I do not like to be in front of the camera. I prefer all the behind the scenes stuff. (Guess that’s a good thing Drew loves the camera so much!!) It was incredible being amongst all of these celebrities and incredible actors. To see Mo’nique win for Best Female Actor in a Supporting Role was very surreal. She was genuinely shocked she won. When she came off stage, she just had this deer in the headlights look, like she couldn’t believe what just happened. Seeing how completely giddy the cast of Glee was with their win was so much fun! I felt like I was celebrating right there with them.
What made this night so special for me personally was Betty White receiving the Lifetime Achievement Award. Golden Girls is my all time favorite tv show EVER. I have every season on DVD and still watch them over and over and over again. She is what made me star struck. Just to be in her presence….. Amazing. Excellence.
One great aspect of this week is that there truly are still some good guys left in Hollywood. People who don’t conform to the superficial mask the industry wants you to put on, people who don’t buy into the hype that they are larger than life. But…. you still have a few bad apples out there too.
This is truly an experience I will never forget. (Although I would like to forget my little tumble down the stairs as I was rushing to get back stage to greet Kevin Bacon as he came off stage. Luckily, he didn’t see the tumble. Sadly, I didn’t get to see him…..Next time!)
Tags:Golden Girls, Inspiration, Los Angeles, Reflections, Screen Actors Guild, Travel
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January 23, 2010
I’m sure at this point when people read this on my blog they are going to hate me. How in the world can I even begin to complain or have a complaint? I’m on the trip of a lifetime, getting the opportunity of a lifetime – to see and experience events few non-celebrity people get to do. I’m traveling with a quadrapalegic who would probably love to feel pain in his legs, to feel anything in his legs….. Yet, it’s saturday morning, and I have another confession to make……..
I just don’t know how much more my arms and legs can lift. They are so tired, they’re turning into noodles. I haven’t lifted anything over 15 pounds since before December 2009, so this week has felt like I’m training for the Ironman Competition. And even though I am clearly struggling, Drew seems to have the utmost patience with me when I screw things up.
I have so much respect for him and his family right now. Really gives me a new appreciation of what my parents have dealt with throughout all my medical mishaps. As soon as I want to complain I just look over at Drew, and my mind cannot begin to understand or comprehend what life is like for him. I hate confessions. I hate that I even think these thoughts of weakness.
Tags:Confessions, Deep Thoughts, Heart Failure, Multiple Sclerosis, Random Thoughts, Rants, Reflections
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January 22, 2010
So…. there is definitely one thing the West coast has that we are LACKING in the South –> In-n- Out Burgers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, have mercy! I’ll take a #4 with onions please!! This was insanely good! Everyone has told me to try one of these burgers, now I understand. For all of you out there who have sung their praises – I get it now!
I don’t know if there is any truth to this or not, but I’ve been told In-n- Out Burgers refuse to franchise and that is why we don’t see them on the East coast, or more importantly down South. Well, I have one word for you – MCDONALDs!! I think there is an important business lesson here – over 1 billion burgers served! How can you NOT benefit from coming to the South? So…. anyone want to go in with me and try to open one of these puppies here in Georgia???????
Tags:Fast Food, Los Angeles
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January 22, 2010
WOW!! John and Joe threw Drew the most amazing party last night! He got the chance to feel like a king (as if we weren’t already getting the royal treatment all week!) and visit with many of his old friends and colleagues from his days back in LA before the accident. And true to form from the rest of the week, John and Joe went big! We had a fabulous bar, fabulous food, fabulous hosts and a fabulous time!!
I have not seen that smile leave Drew’s face all week. Out here in LA, he is really in his element. LA is most definitely not made for everyone, but it is made for Drew. I really enjoyed getting a chance to meet his friends, hear old Drew stories and see how genuinely happy everyone is for him. I often talk about how I need to get my battery re-charged, and I think this party did that for Drew. In the depths of the woods of Blythewood, SC, one can often forget or lose sight of the audience that is out in the world cheering you on.
Like so many times this week, I am yet again reminded how very precious our lives are. How quickly life can change with every breathe that you take. How fast the road God sends you down can turn into a different direction. All the while we are strapped in holding on for the ride and praying we get there safely. How one minute you are driving your truck back to LA and next minute you are lying on a frozen road for 16 hours grasping on to your life, so that you can see another breathe.
Be thankful for the amenities and functionalities you have in your life. Be grateful for the people who love and support you. Tell the people you love that you love them, and don’t hold grudges. For it can all be gone and over with so quickly.
Tags:Inspiration, Los Angeles, Love, Reflections, Relationships, Thankfulness, Travel
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January 22, 2010
I woke up so tired and sore. I can feel my legs starting to shut down. I can feel I’ve put too much stress on my heart, fluid is backing up in my chest like there is a running facet inside there. And I feel like the most selfish, vain bitch for even feeling this way. I guess maybe by writing it I’m not saying it out loud, as if that makes this any better. I don’t have the right to complain. Drew can’t feel his legs, can’t move his legs. I’m trying so hard to help with moving him in/out of his wheelchair, getting him dressed and I feel like this weakling. As I blow dry my hair I can’t stop my eyes from watering up. I don’t want Drew to see me crying. I’m sitting here frustrated because my legs are tired and my heart is exhausted. And Drew is in a wheelchair.
Just as I am about to hit rock bottom from the guilt of feeling sorry for myself Drew starts laughing. He’s watching some of the video I took last night at his party. That smile lights up my heart. That laugh lets my body know it will be okay, it can make it. Despite the bruises, the aches, the pains – I will be okay. If he can have the strength to survive on an icy road, I can muster up the strength to continue doing this.
Tags:Confessions, Deep Thoughts, Health, Heart Failure, Los Angeles, Multiple Sclerosis, Rants, Reflections, Relationships
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January 21, 2010
I feel like I’m in the middle of a tsunami!! How crazy is this weather! It has pretty much rained non-stop since we got here. And what is wild is evidently LA has not seen weather like this in 5 years. Of course it’s going to hit the week we are here! Melissa and I finally broke down and bought a pair of goloshes! The very last 2 in the store! Luckily they were our sizes. I have a feeling we will be jumping in a lot of puddles now! Ha! Oh, and I should share all of my Mary Poppins moments. Clearly umbrellas do not like me out here. Everyone I touch gets flipped inside out by the wind as if it were going to lift me away! Only seems fitting, I feel like I’m in the middle of a movie with this week. Being whisked from set to set, studio to studio, going to awards shows…… Today we were on the set of Chuck, got the opportunity to watch them do a few takes and meet Zach Levi. How surreal is this?? I just don’t want anyone to pinch me and wake me up from this dream…….
Tags:Los Angeles, Weather
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